Inside Shanghai's Marriage Market: the World's Largest Traditional Matchmaking Gathering
Updated: Aug 30, 2023
✈ Shanghai, China ✈︎
Every weekend, the Marriage Market in Shanghai buzzes with activity as hundreds of concerned parents gather, eager to present the most appealing qualities of their children and explore potential matches. This age-old tradition stands in stark contrast to the swipe culture of modern dating apps like Tinder. Here, the emphasis is placed on practical qualifications rather than superficial attributes. Factors such as age, height, income, occupation, education, family values, Chinese zodiac sign, and even personality traits take center stage. With China's astonishing 200 million unmarried individuals aged 20 to 49, a trend towards professionals getting married later in life, and shifting relationship norms, parents are once again embracing their traditional roles as matchmakers.
🕹 Travel tip: To visit Shanghai's Marriage Market, go on a weekend morning to People's Park. Notice the organized advertisements sorted by birth year, background, and marital status. Pay attention to the emphasis on qualifications and the presence of parents seeking husbands for their daughters. Observe the unique dynamics and cultural nuances that contribute to the matchmaking process.Origins of the Shanghai Marriage Market
Chinese marriage markets have arisen in response to shifting relationship dynamics within a globalized era. Dating apps and other Western influences have eroded the long-standing tradition of upholding family lineages. Despite facing low success rates, parents remain undeterred in their efforts to find suitable matches for their children. As a result, marriage markets have become platforms for expressing both optimism and anxieties within modern China—a society that has evolved beyond traditional family ideals.
The roots of this cultural phenomenon can be traced back to China's One Child Policy, which was in effect from 1979 to 2015. During this period, families were constrained to having just one child, often displaying a preference for male children over female. This preference led to a gender imbalance, resulting in a surplus of marriage-aged men compared to women. Interestingly, it's primarily daughters for whom parents are seeking suitable husbands at the marriage markets.
How the Marriage Market is Set Up
Shanghai's Marriage Market provides parents with two distinct options for discovering potential partners for their children: the "free zone" and the "amateur matching zone." In the "free zone," parents take on the task themselves, sifting through numerous advertisements containing comprehensive biographical details about the singles. These details encompass birth year, ethnicity, religious background (like Chinese Muslims), and marital status (with a dedicated section for divorcees). This approach empowers parents to efficiently search for suitable matches independently.
On the other hand, the "amateur matching zone" caters to parents who prefer the assistance of "professional" matchmakers. These matchmakers curate compiled lists of singles' profiles and contact information, streamlining the search process. It's worth noting that there exists a pricing discrepancy based on gender, where females pay a modest fee while males are exempt from charges. This pricing disparity reflects the higher number of females seeking partners in comparison to eligible males.
What Makes Parents 'Swipe Right'
Qualifications advertised at Shanghai's Marriage Market are carefully crafted to attract traditionalists. Parents of marriage-aged and college-educated women, often referred to as "leftover women," proudly flaunt their daughters' age, education, temperament, and sometimes physical appearance. For men, expectations extend to factors such as owning a car and apartment, as evidenced by a Shanghai household registration record called a hukou. However, the high cost of living and property ownership in Shanghai further exacerbate the gender ratio gap at the Marriage Market, with a notable overrepresentation of parents seeking relatively fewer qualified males for their daughters.
The Evolution of Parent Matchmakers
Although Shanghai's Marriage Market holds the distinction of being the world's largest, it is not the sole one in China. Beijing's Longtan Park takes credit for pioneering this concept in 2004, with Shanghai's market quickly following suit. These markets have grown organically from retirees who gathered in parks for morning exercises, engaging in conversations with peers who also had unmarried children. To meet the increasing demand in a society where the pressure to marry remains high, major cities like Wuhan, Hangzhou, Tianjin, and Shenzhen have established their own public matchmaking venues.
Cultural Significance and Criticisms
While arranged marriages are no longer the norm, the desire to select socially and economically advantageous partners remains strong. Marriage markets provide a platform to navigate these pressures, prioritizing the advancement of the family collective over individual preferences, in line with Confucian beliefs that emphasize family unity.
In contrast to traditional hūnyīn (marriage) customs, China's present cultural landscape has undergone significant changes. The 1950 Marriage Law abolished arranged marriages, male dominance, and neglect of children's interests. Further departing from traditional norms, the more recent celebration of singlehood on Singles Day (11/11, an intentional date, with the numeral 1 resembling an unmarried man in Chinese internet slang) has become the world's largest shopping event.
Critics of marriage markets often perceive them as prioritizing financial stability over happiness. In reality, these markets reflect the genuine concerns of traditional Chinese parents worried about their children navigating life without the safety net of marriage. China's market-driven reforms have indeed led to unprecedented improvements in income and living standards for billions. Nevertheless, rapid societal changes create uncertainty among traditionalists who fear the perceived risks of a capitalist and individualistic society. For like-minded traditionalists, the Shanghai Marriage Market offers solace, optimism for potential matches, and a way to preserve a cherished bygone era.
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